God hath made me to laugh, so that
all that hear will laugh with me.
Genesis 21:6
all that hear will laugh with me.
Genesis 21:6
Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
He who has courage and faith will never perish
in misery!
- Anne Frank
He who has courage and faith will never perish
in misery!
- Anne Frank
BIBLE
BLOOPERS
(Young grade school
scholars retell Bible stories)
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy
father and mother.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt
not admit adultery.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the
dessert.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300
wives and 700 porcupines.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew,
who was by profession a taximan.
In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses,
God got tired of creating the world, so he
took the Sabbath off.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals
came on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a
ball of fire by night.
BLOOPERS
(Young grade school
scholars retell Bible stories)
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy
father and mother.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt
not admit adultery.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the
dessert.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300
wives and 700 porcupines.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew,
who was by profession a taximan.
In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses,
God got tired of creating the world, so he
took the Sabbath off.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals
came on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a
ball of fire by night.
Families are like fudge; mostly sweet with
a few nuts.
Precocious teen's definition of "social
security" - Having a date for Saturday
night.
Our four year old was behaving so well I
told him he must be an angel. He replied
"No, I'm not, I can't get up that high."
a few nuts.
Precocious teen's definition of "social
security" - Having a date for Saturday
night.
Our four year old was behaving so well I
told him he must be an angel. He replied
"No, I'm not, I can't get up that high."
BIBLE TRIVIA
Can you answer these questions?
1. Who asked Jesus to perform his first recorded
miracle?
2. Which book records the parable of the Good
Samaritan?
3. What did Mary use to wipe the feet of Jesus
after annointing them with perfume?
4. Who was taken up to Heaven in a Chariot of
Fire?
5. Who enticed Samson into telling the secret of
his strength?
6. What is the shortest
verse in the New
Testament?
7. What are the first
two words of every
Beautitude recorded
in Matthew?
8. What did Elizabeth and Zacharias name their
baby?
9. How many pieces of silver did Judas receive to
betray Jesus?
10. What short man climbed a tree to see Jesus?
Can you answer these questions?
1. Who asked Jesus to perform his first recorded
miracle?
2. Which book records the parable of the Good
Samaritan?
3. What did Mary use to wipe the feet of Jesus
after annointing them with perfume?
4. Who was taken up to Heaven in a Chariot of
Fire?
5. Who enticed Samson into telling the secret of
his strength?
6. What is the shortest
verse in the New
Testament?
7. What are the first
two words of every
Beautitude recorded
in Matthew?
8. What did Elizabeth and Zacharias name their
baby?
9. How many pieces of silver did Judas receive to
betray Jesus?
10. What short man climbed a tree to see Jesus?
Answers to the trivia questions can be
found at the bottom of the Thank You page.
No fair peeking now.
found at the bottom of the Thank You page.
No fair peeking now.
Caught in the Act
I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried
out, "I caught you!"
I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow,
but her next words let me off the hook.
"You put that money back!" she said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"
I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in my hand, she cried
out, "I caught you!"
I froze and tried to think of an explanation for why I, instead of the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow,
but her next words let me off the hook.
"You put that money back!" she said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"
Aunt Emma
A couple's happy married life almost went on
the rocks because of the presence in the
household of old Aunt Emma.
For seventeen long years she lived with
them, always crotchety, always demanding.
Eventually, the old girl passed away.
On the way back from the cemetery, the
huband confessesd to his wife, "Darling, if I
didn't love you so much, I don't think I would
have put up with having your Aunt Emma in
the house all those years."
His wife looked at him aghast. "My Aunt
Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was 'your'
Aunt Emma!
Suffering Vanity
Before Linda became engaged she was quite
the beauty, and didn't mind letting her
boyfriend know it too.
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable
when I marry," she told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "and just how
many men are you intending to marry?"
A couple's happy married life almost went on
the rocks because of the presence in the
household of old Aunt Emma.
For seventeen long years she lived with
them, always crotchety, always demanding.
Eventually, the old girl passed away.
On the way back from the cemetery, the
huband confessesd to his wife, "Darling, if I
didn't love you so much, I don't think I would
have put up with having your Aunt Emma in
the house all those years."
His wife looked at him aghast. "My Aunt
Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was 'your'
Aunt Emma!
Suffering Vanity
Before Linda became engaged she was quite
the beauty, and didn't mind letting her
boyfriend know it too.
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable
when I marry," she told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "and just how
many men are you intending to marry?"
1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most
unproductive of all human activities.
2. Thou shall not be fearful,for most of the things
we fear never come to pass.
3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to
them, for no one yet has succeeded in
accomplishing this.
4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes.
You can only handle one at a time anyway.
5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you,
For they make very poor bedfellows.
6. Thou shall not borrow other people's problems.
They can better care for them than you can.
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7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good
or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate of what is
happening in your life and be happy now!
8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when
you listen do you hear ideas different from your
own. It is hard to learn something new when
you are talking, and some people do know more
than you do.
9. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by
frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and
will only interfere with positive action.
10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never
overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small
blessings add up to a big one.
The Second "Ten Commandments
Author Unknown
Wings of a Dove